PROBLEM WITH DRAMAS LIKE MERAY PAAS TUM HO -WOMEN PORTRAYAL
There are multiple dramas airing right now where men are betraying their wives, Baewafa is the prominent one but obviously none of them is making a big deal because women being betrayed is normalized for many years.As long as a man is providing for the family, all other actions are justified
“it is men’s nature’
“man goes to other woman because the previous woman must have done something wrong”
“women need to compromise, he will return”
“bear whatever he does you will get reward in jannah”
“women sacrifice mighty to make relationships work”
MERAY PAAS TUM HO, however, is breaking hearts, magnifying human tragedy because a man is left by a woman.It seems like a national tragedy which now in the recent episode is labelled as Gunnah (how funny is that)
The most common excuse, even given by misogynistic women is that mistakes happen and men should be forgiven, why such a rule can’t be applied on women.
Why women mistake is Gunnah and is associated with motherhood but a man’s mistake is just a mistake and not associated with fatherhood.
Be it DIL MOUM KA DYA or any other drama where a woman leaves she has to be made at the end an amplified tragical example to perpetuate if a woman makes mistakes or has a strong personality of desiring for what she wants or more than what she has,she is doomed no matter how hard she tries.
Wanting more is not a crime, Danish also wanted more that’s why to satisfy his inferiority complex risked everything to equal himself to Shahwar. If love was enough for him, he would not have desired wealth to replace it.The only problem is that men mistakes or wanting material success seem justified because they are portrayed as working hard and earning their own money but women are shown to be looking for men who have money. For centuries women are fed the idea that if they want more they can’t do it themselves.
I wish the end of MERAY PAAS TUM HO is that Mehwish is forgiven for breaking her ex husband’s and her son’s heart but then is shown to have taken a grasp of life and moved on, just like any normal person does and she is shown to be able to make on her own at life and money, to have a second chance at life and love and everything.
But obviously this is not going to happen. This is Pakistan and pakistani entertainment industry.We love and feed on sanctifying grief stricken, tortured unfairly treated women, in Ranjha Ranjha Kardi noori stays with an abnormal man who raped her, and she wanted more from the beginning and that was her sin. Noori was glorified at the end because she curbed her desire to succeed and comprises on less and tragic.
Love is a part of life, people fall in and fall out of love and there is no need to glorify it to unacceptable level, following Bollywood tradition. If Mehwish, in meray paas tum ho, did not love Danish anymore that’s how her emotions worked she could not help it, she did not betray Danish she very clearly told him that she didn’t want to be with him.
In Pakistani industry we need more female writers. But not Umera Ahmed kind who are typical product of backward values where women tragedy is portrayed heroic or where the only hobby women is to pull each other down. we need writers like Haseena Moin who joyously celebrate independent women, women who fall in love as equals and not as needy emotionally hollow beings.
We as viewers need to condemn dramas like merey paas tum ho (at least condemn-able parts of it) even if we are less in number we will create a challenging narrative, an opposite side of the picture which will gradually make sense to women audience and hopefully we develop into a tribe of girls that want equal and full chance at life as men.
By the way hats off to Sony Hussain, the actress, for refusing to work in Meray Paas Tum Ho, as lead character (she was to act Mehwish’ role before Aiza Khan) but she made a point to Iffat Omer that I don’t believe is such demeaning representation of women so I said No and I don’t regret it.
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