i float at risk!

in the midst of all this
i float at risk
of getting nowhere
in my mind and heart
stuck always at the same place

the place of pain
but pain is my best friend
it stays
even if no one can
even if i leave  it behind
it comes
in an instant
as i recall it back

people say learn to move on
or else hurting won’t stop
but what if hurting is all i want
the pain is my potion
to calm it all
to keep the connection
with what is lost
which i called mine
but was never mine at all

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