i am at edge of chaos

They say
be who you are
but i don’t know who i am
am i girl
a human
a soul
perhaps i am all this
but broken
shattered
not knowing
which part i am more
and which i am less

they say
love yourself
but i don’t know what love is
is it to look good
smile a lot
never complain
but i do all this
perhaps
a little too much
or a lot less
i have missed the balance
between myself
and the rest

they say
to work for what you want
but what do i want
i am craving to know
who i am
and what i want
do i want the entire world
7 heavens above
or mere myself

i am at the edge of chaos
i do know my way back
but all i see behind
is strangeness
a journey
perhaps easing
but not painless

i want me to rid off pain
all the chaos
that resides in me
not letting me to be free
i want me to forget about the future
present
and
the past
and vanish
to never let anyone know
who i am or who i was

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