1- Women are a complete human being
so a few months back I was talking to two girls and they were very proudly were expressing the magnanimity of their mothers’ obedience towards their fathers and how their moms met the standards of ideal eastern wives.
so one of them said: ‘my mother never applied nail polish or mehndi because my father hated it.’
the other answered with more passion (so that her mother does not lose the vote of mother of the 21st century)
‘my mom never wore silk clothes because my father just said once he did not like them.’
and during this ridiculously passionate conversation I was thinking why did not these moms told these dads, if they don’t like all this stuff they have the option not to wear them, which already was not supposed to be worn by them (the dads)
men need to learn this fact that women are a complete human being. They have their opinions, likes, dislikes and choices and they must be let to own these things.
if a man does not like short hair for women, he is welcome to have this opinion but to pressure your sister or mother or wife not to have short hair because you don’t like it, I mean seriously, does not that make you feel a little, rather a lot, foolish.
so let women chose for themselves.
2- religiosity starts from one’s own self
many people who suddenly have a religious awakening considers first mighty step towards jannah is to make their women clad in chadars. Once a man has beard, in our society , he is already considered more than half of a scholar.
which is WRONG
your journey brings you closer to God and you choose to dress up and live life the certain way, kudos to you. But your women, the women who are related to you have their own spiritual journey and let them have their own experience
3-outside space does not belong to their Abbas
it is common to see many boys squatting around a pan shop, or gathered outside a mall, or having a walk on footpath. But the moment they see a few women together having a fun time outside they are automatically labelled as bae-sharam (shameless) and obviously then cat-calling is a compulsion for many men to do to these women.
a public road, shop, street belongs to the female citizen of a country as much as it belong to men of the country
4- you having an affair or relationship is as gunnahful or swaabful as the girl you abhorrently see for being with a guy
2 years back I had an experience
I was part of this committee at my workplace which looks into ethical matters and there was this case of girl who was stalked by this guy. And one of the committee member said well I have seen this girl with two other boys myself so this boy who is stalking her has the right to say if she is friends with other guys she should be my friend (oh and let me tell you the educated man vomiting out his opinion had his entire higher education from a western country)
and another committee member who was a phd, married and for sure above 40 , and who regularly hung out with female staff members (not that I have any objection to that) went adding to his colleagues worthy opinion
‘yes these girls don’t care about our culture and our values and then they cry why people are raising fingers on their character.’
YAH! I know you must be thinking i am making it up. NO I AM NOT THIS ACTUALLY DID HAPPEN
This happens because men of our culture believe they have the right to chose woman of their choice but the girls are not supposed to do that. This is why Bollywood movies are filled with stories of so-called modest girls who keeps apparently rejecting a guy who approaches her, even if in her heart she likes him back, basically our cultural standards and movies are a sharp slap to the entire concept of CONSENT.
and this is why in our society we hear so many stories of love marriages where men after marriage treat their wives like trash saying the stupid idiotic sentence of all times ‘íf you were not faithful to your parents and you chose me over them how can you be faithful to me.’
5-smoking is injurious to women’s health & not to their character just like for men
and just like in case of relationships, apparently in Pakistan and India smoking for women is not bad for lungs or kidneys but for women’s characters. A woman smoker, according to popular opinion, for sure sleeps with other men, is a whore and has no fear of God.
Yes this is the opinion in a country where more than half males of the country are smokers.
Rest in peace the ethics and morals of this country but women need to to stick together, and always ask for their rights. Don’t always soak in all the humiliation and orders because it will effect your house and family. A house and family where a woman is not happy, is not a happy house or family. A family should be like a team, where you are joyous or sad or suffer together not at the expense of each other.
Being a reasonable man does not hurt. You don’t want to be labelled feminist , that’s ok, but hopefully you don’t want to be labelled as inhuman and an educated idiot either.